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One of the most powerful shifts in deepening your pleasure is opening your mind to new possibilities in sex and intimacy — and reclaiming the primal power of embodied desire.
Our culture is full of myths about sex—messages we’ve absorbed without question, shaping how we experience desire, touch, and connection. And because sex is often taboo to talk about, these myths can go unchallenged, quietly restricting our pleasure without us even realizing it.
Let’s explore—and unravel—five common myths that might be holding you back from a more fulfilling, expansive, and delicious experience of intimacy.
Myth #1: “Real sex” involves penetration
Penetration can be deeply pleasurable for both men and women—but it’s not the only way to experience satisfying, connected, or orgasmic sex. In fact, the majority of women don’t orgasm from penetration alone, and many find more pleasure in other kinds of touch, connection, or stimulation.
Expanding your definition of sex can be transformational. It allows for more creativity, deeper pleasure, and a broader spectrum of erotic connection. It also opens up new pathways for couples navigating painful sex, erection or ejaculation challenges, or simply desiring more variety.
Sex is not defined by a specific act—it’s any experience that awakens your erotic energy.
Myth #2: “I should want sex”
Desire is complex. It ebbs and flows with our emotions, stress levels, relationships, and life seasons. There is no “right” amount of sexual desire, and there is nothing wrong with you if you don’t always want sex.
Many people have responsive desire, meaning they might not feel turned on until they’re in an erotic situation that meets their unique turn-ons. Others need deep emotional safety and connection before desire can awaken. And some people feel little to no sexual desire at all, which is also completely normal.
Instead of pressuring yourself to “want sex,” try focusing on what stirs your erotic desire naturally, and go where the energy flows.
Read this post about reawakening sexual desire as a woman.
Myth #3: Foreplay is just a warm-up
Who decided that “foreplay” is just the lead-up to “real sex”? What we call foreplay—sensual touch, teasing, exploring, playing—can be the main event.
In fact, slowing down and lingering in this space can make sex even more connected and pleasurable. When there’s no rush to get somewhere, desire has space to build, deepen, and unfold in ways you might not expect.
Foreplay is sex. And you can stay there as long as you like.
Myth #4: Sex needs a goal
What if there didn’t have to be an endgame—no pressure for penetration, orgasm, or any specific outcome?
Sex can be an open-ended journey, an exploration of pleasure without a required destination. When we loosen the expectation that something has to happen, we open space for a different kind of experience—one that’s more attuned, present, and full of surprise.
Myth #5: Sex is mostly about the genitals
Yes, our genitals are key players—but our biggest sexual organ? Our brain.
Desire is fueled by what turns us on emotionally and mentally—not just physically. This is where core desires come in. When we tap into fantasy, longing, and deeper emotional turn-ons, we unlock an entirely new level of pleasure and erotic depth.
Want to explore this further? Read more here about how core desires can heighten your arousal and expand your pleasure.
Sex and pleasure don’t have to fit inside narrow definitions. When we release the myths we’ve inherited, and get back into our bodies, we open to something far richer—an experience of sexuality that is uniquely ours, more intuitive and freer.
If you feel called to explore this further as a couple or as a woman, I invite you to learn more about how sex and relationship coaching might support you here.
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